Empty nights,
empty beats.
Empty lights,
empty streets.
Empty soul,
empty heart.
Everything I once had,
now lost behind my own shadow.
My footsteps leave behind evidence,
of a girl now lost.
There is no direction,
no destination,
and no desire.
I trudge along the pathway with an empty suitcase of hopes,
trying to numb the pain,
by feeding myself temporary joy,
but even the drunken me knows.
joy is not here to stay.
For despair has built an empire,
on the shattered grounds of love.
I bow down in front of my emotions,
that leave me to feel,
nothing but pain.
How vulnerable was my heart,
to be taken over by my desperate soul.
A soul that longed the same feeling of belonging,
that it found in his warm company.
How her heart ached for a friendship now lost behind her own shadow.
A shadow that screams,
a shadow that cries,
a shadow that laughs,
at its own misery.
Empty nights,
empty beats.
Empty lights,
empty streets.
Empty soul,
empty heart,
and an empty me.
Dear Faryal,
This is such a beautiful, well-written piece. Everything we’ve learned in class such as repetition, parallelism, and sound were all evident and well used in your poem!
The truth in this speaks great volumes and I love reading things that make me think, wow no one has ever put something like that before, because I love reading and writing about truth and how it can be found in many different ways. The part where you said “I trudge along the pathway with an empty suitcase of hopes, trying to numb the pain, by feeding myself temporary joy but even the drunken me knows. joy is not here to stay. ” really resonated with me and I appreciate how well you’ve worded everything. On that note, there isn’t much room you’ve left for improvement because it was very well written!
I really enjoyed reading this, so thank you fro writing it!
Love, Sarah <3
Dear Sarah,
I am not going to lie, but I have always thought that this piece could be a bit more improved, but after reading your comment, I will leave it the way it is. I always thought it was too simple, but this comment of yours has given me the motivation that even simple words can hold meaning. It means a lot to me that you were able to enjoy this poem! Thank you so much for your motivating and loving comment. I appreciate it a lot!
– Faryal
Dear Faryal,
I really liked this piece! I think you conveyed your emotions so well and the tone and voice weaved together so stylistically! I also really enjoyed the the full circle through your repetition! One thing that I might suggest, if you’re comfortable with it, is to just do a little blurb about what inspired you to write this post! I look forward to reading more from you in the future!
Truly,
Simran C.
Dear Faryal,
I can’t believe I’m only just reading your writing now. You are so gifted. I really love this poem. It felt genuinely relatable. I hope you keep writing after this class. You’re amazing.
With love,
Tolu x